Running in Place

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile.

Everytime I want to write a post (which is often) I tell myself I have to do something productive first like, clean my room or do homework or some nonsense like that.

Since those are things I don't like I end up procrastinating them in a less productive way then blogging, like, wondering what it would be like to have a life.

That was a joke, in case you couldn't tell.

These days no one can tell when I am joking.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, which is: to write a blog post. Just for you! :D

First, I want to pause to write about Oregon! I had an awesome time, and I would write all about it, but I already did here. "Olive Our Joy" is the blog I am running with Lexy. Our feet are currently on the ground, but we are not yet running. We will be on our way soon, but check out the Oregon post and then someday soon, check out all the awesome things we will be posting on there!

Today, as I got onto blogger I had no idea what I would be writing about, so much has been going on, and as you can probably tell, I am great at talking about almost anything, but I am going to write about writing.

You see, in school, they make us write, a lot. Crazy concept right?

I've realized that as good at writing as I am, I'm actually bad at it. Forget the fact that I got a 5 on my AP exam, that means nothing. Sense the end of summer I have been having some serious writers block about everything, except maybe texts to Lexy. My brain just feels off and I can't think straight the way I used to when I write.

Over the past couple english classes we've been reading some of Elbow's advice on writing with power. (Aside: best last name ever. for real though.)

A few things stuck out to me. His writing is on the effect an audience has on your writing.

First, I suck at compulory writing. Well, not really. I suck at compulsory writing when I can't find a way to connect about it or be passionate about what I am writing. I have to really have an opinion about things if I am going to write a paper on it. To me, time is an investment. I invest myself in things that I care about.

Secound, he talked about how writing to a particular individual can cause you to be blocked. I think this is what is happening to me in my AP 12 class. I think I have too many opinion about people in that class to write anything that they might end up reading. We read a piece called "All Writing is Autobiographical" and that work made me realize that I don't really want any of them to know anything about me. It's a problem.

For example, we are working on a personal narrative that we have to read in front of the class. Public speaking is not a big deal to me. I actually enjoy it. Especially on an assigned topic where I write down exactly what I plan to say and read it to the class. piece of cake. I've done this my whole life. However, no matter how many times I sit down to write it, I freeze. I don't want these people to know about me and things I care about, but unless I write a passionate paper that really says something, my work will be figurative crap. It's a little bit of a catch 22. I can't write unless I care, and I can't write to them about something I care for.

See my dilemma?

Well, fear not. Elbow offers a solution. Either write to no one or write to someone who loves to read the things you are writing. I'm not sure how this will work out when I know I have to read it. Today I work an awesome short story in class because reading was an option so I knew they would never see it. However, I can't exactly lie to myself. I'm going to have to write my paper for or to someone. The question is: Who?

On a related note: I'm pretty sure I'm going to write about my struggle between chosing fear and faith.


That's all for now! Bet you're like, "It doesn't seem like you have a writing ptoblem, Alyssa!"
This is more like word vomit. Let it come, don't stop it, hope it doesn't make someone throw up.

The End.