I do what I want.

 

I sincerely feel a need and desire to share some of my thoughts and feeling about the gospel of Jesus Christ, which blesses my life continually. As you probably know, I am a Mormon. I think most people know because this as I try to be outward about my lifestyle choices, but it is not often that I really share the true magnitiude of blessing that the gospel has in my life, I often hint at it, but because I am not the best at sharing my feelings I seldom share my beliefs as a bold declaration because it is so close to my heart and especially recently I get emotional as I recognize more and more how loved and blessed I am by my Heavenly Father. However, I really think I should share this more, so I will give it a try. Please read this? I'm not trying to baptize you or anything. Just like you want to share an awesome new song or joke, I want to share the thing that brings me the greatest joy in my life.


I tell people all the time, "I do what I want." I sometimes wonder if people find this hypocritical because when they see me or classify me as "Mormon" they think of all the things that I "can't" do, like drinking, getting high, and participating in intercourse outside the bounds of marriage. However, in actuality, if I wanted to, I would be doing those things, the fact is I don't want to. Maybe you think I'm brainwashed or naive, but I know the blessings I've recieved from keeping these commandments, and I know that I am at my happiest when I am living the commandments of the gospel. If I start slipping on even the smallest things, like daily prayer and reading scriptures, I can feel the huge impact it makes in my life and in my closeness to Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. What momentary satifcation could be worth living without that spirit for even a day? I can't think of even one.

To be perfectly honest though, even if all those blessings were taken out of the equasion, I am confident that I would still choose the lifestyle that I am living. Why? Well, to be perfectly honest my choices boil down to one man: my Savior, comforter, and redeemer.

I know that Jesus Christ suffered, died, and lives for all mankind, but also for me specifically. The atonement of Christ is infinite yet intimate. I have felt the blessings of the atonement in my life.  There have been countless times when I have felt totally and utterly alone, gotten on my knees to pray, and immediately felt love, peace, and reassurance that I am never alone even if no one is standing by me. He gave everything for me, he lived and died for me, and all He and my Heavenly Father ask with all the love in the world are for me to make a few choices in my life to follow their teachings, which are all things we should do anyway and then on top of everything else, they bless us more for our choice to follow. With all the Savior has done for me, how can I not make the few small sacrifices He asks of me? When I put my Savior in the equasion, these choices hardly feel like sacrifices at all.

I live my life the way I do because I want to live the way my Heavenly Father and Savior have intructed me to. There is not an ounce of myself that regrets the way I've chosen to live my life, and something tells me there never will be. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true, because I have prayed about it and felt a confirming witness through the spirit. I feel that same spirit continually as I make righteous life choices, read the scriptures, pray, and attend church meetings and functions. I encourage anyone who has questions about the gospel to ask me or visit lds.org or mormon.org. Also, if you really don't understand why I love my life the way it is, I challenge you, no I triple dog dare you, to really live the way I do for even a week, and see the way it blesses your life. The best way to gain a testimony of a principle of the gospel is to apply it to your life. If you want to feel the joy that I feel, live the way that I do. Sometimes it is hard, but it is always worth it. Everything I do, I do because it brings me closer to returning to my Father in Heaven and there is not instant gratification or worldy pleasure that could ever outweigh the oppurtuinity of building and developing that relationship.

I know that Heavenly Father and our Savior love you and that you are a child of God. If you don't know that, pray until you do. I know that our Savior died for you, so you could return to live with the Father. If you don't know that, pray until you do. I know that God has a plan for you. If you don't know that, pray until you do. He will answer your prayers. I know this with assurity because He answers mine.

I love each of you and wish you all happiness in the coming New Year.

Courage

Today, I realized that I am actually a little bit brave sometimes. Hopefully, this gives you a laugh.


Today, I stayed home sick. It wasn't a huge deal, just a miserable cough, the kind that feels like someone is cutting at your throat everytime you breathe. So I wussed out of school and slept most of the day, trying to ignore my pounding head and sniffly nose. In the afternoon, I was watching some Netfllix and lounging on a chair in the living room. It was the middle of the day when Dad walked upstairs in a gym outfit, said he'd be back in a bit, and walked out the door. Sometime later, I heard a beep down the hallway, followed by the electronic voice that said, "Basement Door Open," as I heard the basement door open and shut. "It's just Dad," I let myself believe, for a split second, until the door opened and closed again, at which point I looked out the window and thought a number of things simultaneously..
1) Dad's car was not at home.
2) A robber wouldn't come in our house at such a busy time of day (quickly followed by..)
3) it was not a busy time of day, our cars were gone, and it wasn't normal for me to be at home
[think Home Alone 3 here folks...]
4) Is Bella in the basement? Did they come in, take her, and leave?

At thought #4, I immediately sprang from my seat, grabbed the nearest weapon-usable item near me (which was a metal broom), and started to go towards the basement not sure of what I was doing...

that is, until dad walked upstairs and I realized that mom had his car, so he hadn't actually gone anywhere...

Feeling a little embarressed, I returned to my Netflix watching.

However, looking back on my day I have realized something. Even though, I was in no real danger, I seriously was convinced there was a robber/kidnapper in my basement (i'll blame this logic on sleep deprivation from sickness) and even though I was sure someone was down there, I wasn't go to sit around and wait for something to happen or hide from what was coming. Evidentally, when faced with danger and the option of fight or flight, I instictively choose to fight, which is not something that people would likely assume about me, or that I would assume about myself, but on reflection has been true for most of my life. Hopefully, this doesn't ever get me into trouble someday, but admitidly i'm just a little but proud of it.

So there you go. The story of how I almost hit my dad with a broom thinking he was a robber/kidnapper, because obviously that's the only logical explanation for the basement door opening...