If a movie were made of my day today, critics and viewers would probably thing it was totally pointless and a waste of time, (not to mention ridiculously long...) but I find myself totally content if not happy with how things went today. Like I said, all the small things...
I started my day off with seminary which was actually pretty frustrating. People talk all the time and it gets on my nerves that they don't respect our teacher or want to listen and be uplifted. Regardless, I enjoyed the message and despite feeling a little frustrated as I walked out, this frustration was not an omen for the events of the day that were soon to follow.
Upon arriving to school, I talked to my friends for a little bit, then Cuesta and I went to get breakfast from Mrs. Jabara before my AP test. Honestly, I think this girl was really why my day was so good. She always brightens it. We got our breakfast, talked, and laughed, until I had to go take my test.
The test itself wasn't a huge deal, i think i did alright, but I'm not going to talk about it, because I'm not supposed to. It went just fine, and I was left with 20 minutes. I don't know how many of you have taken an AP test, but when you finish the multiple choice section, they have you seal it closed with white labels because the questions are usually not disclosed or released. So I sat in that auditorium, and i wrote down all the emotions I've been holding back or trying to forget. I everything down feverishly and I didn't hold back because I knew that no one, me or anyone else will ever read those words again. I feel so free. I find myself anticipating the AP English again so I can write down everything else I didn't have time to write.
This experience makes me think of a song that's on the soundtrack for The Best Two Years, the lyrics say, "If it's not love, just simply let it go." Recently, I've been working on trying to forgive people for things that have past. These words have helped me in respect to that and today with letting go of sadness or frustration and things that I can't change and helping me to focus on the things that I can change and work towards. I'm so grateful for repentance and the fact that we have the ability to change and become something more that we are now.
...on a total aside, this reminds me of a conversation that we had in choir the other day. King Tut told us to imagine what would happen if we never got second chances. He asked, what if the first time we tried to stand up or walk and we fell down, we were told that we couldn't try again, that we were stuck crawling through our whole lives. I'm so grateful that God is more merciful than that. He not only lets us get up to try and walk again, He and Christ reach out to pull us up, They are our crutches, and when it's totally necessary They carry me. I wasn't planning on making this a spiritual post in anyway, but throughout all the things that have been going on, I guess my heart is just too filled with gratitude to not saying anything.
Well, after that all the rest of the things I have to say seem silly. After my AP test I got to go back to APES and chill with my Cuesta. The time went so incredibly slowly despite the fact that I was enjoying myself. I got to read her New Era and I got to look through a National Geographic (and boy was it nice to see how beautiful the world is after taking a test for several hours about all the problems it has). Cuesta and I made the best list of things that we are going to do when we are in college together. We are currently planning on being roomates, (and I know everyone says not to room with friends, and I'm sure everyone says this, but honestly it will totally be fine... I cook and she cleans, so we've got everything covered.) and we are so excited. I am going to thrive senior year, but still, I am too excited to go to BYU (knock on wood that I'll get in!) We made a list of things to do in college, and we are so excited to do all the things on the list! (: I'll do a different post of our list someday when it's finished! :D
After school I got to talk to a few friends including Leland Lexy and Nikolai. I was glad to talk to Nikolai for just a minute because I feel like I see him all the time, but i never really talk to him and he's a pretty cool kid. And I got to walk out with Emily who is basically my favorite. AND on my way to Katie's car I got to see
Anyways, Katie and Taylor took me home and then I went to... WATERWORKS! Honestly, I know I probably sounds so lame right now, but I truly love that place. Between all the fun and frustration that's gone down there and because I love summer and it is a fundamental part of my summer, I love that place so much. Being there made summer feel so close and brought back so many memories. I honestly love my job.
I got to work with Gabe (not my brother... biologically) and Jon cleaning chairs for a couple hours! I love both of those guys so much. We talked about everything and nothing and just had a good time working really hard. We talked, joked, smiled, and laughed until it was time to go home. While I was biking home Jon honked and waved at me from across the street, and it made me happy. For once the person honking was someone I like and not a creepy white van with tinted windows, haha (:
Also, while we were working Jon and I started talking about Mormon Prom. On the one hand I guess I'm pretty excited to go, but at the same time I don't really want to. However, today on tumblr I saw a photo that said "Don't Miss a Chance to Dance" and I realized that none of it really matters and I'm just going to go have a great time. I love to dance and I love my friends, so nothing else really matters. It's going to be great, and if nothing else I'll get to wear some fabulous heels (; Really though, despite my mixed feelings, I'm going to make it a great night! :D
Welp, I can't think of what else to write, and I don't think I need any more than what I have. This is definitely longer than I thought it would be. I'd say sorry, but I sort've doubt anyone made it this far. Hahaha, just kidding and Congratulations if you did. This was a snapshot of the many thoughts that have gone through my mind. Now I can no longer procrastinate my homework...
Really though, I'm so grateful for my life and even though I've been frustrated, I'm going to go forward with faith that things are happening the way they are meant to happen.